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The Typology and Psychology of WhatsApp Groups

Posted on Saturday, June 27, 2020 by Deepa


The Typology and Psychology of WhatsApp Groups

I have a love hate relationship with WhatsApp groups. And the choice between love and hate (psychology) is determined entirely by the nature of the group (typology).

The taxonomy of WhatsApp groups are principally as follows:

1.    Genus Familia: One where you are related to the members of the group. These maybe sub classified into Immediate Family (father, mother, siblings), Extended Family (cousins, aunts and uncles) and Maritalis (spouse and in-laws). Immediate and Extended may sometimes be combines. Maritalis, however, might deserve a genus of its own.

2.    Genus Alumnae: One where the group evolves out of having studied in some or the other educational institution – school, college and beyond

3.    Genus Corporatum: One that emerges on account of having worked with an organisation either in the present or the past.  

Each genus exhibits its own set of behaviours and oddities among the members which, have either retained or chased me away from these groups.

Genus Familia – Immediate and/or Extended Family: This is a great way of staying in touch with your near and dear ones. One gets to experience the intense joy of being wished Good Morning and Good Night at various times during your day, as and when the sun rises or sets in the country where your various relatives live. You are in the enviable position of never forgetting anybody’s birthday and you get beautifully designed festival wishes which you then promptly forward to other groups. Of course you might have to deal with the odd uncle in northern Canada who immigrated a generation ago, reprimanding you for your lack of patriotism, if you ever spoke a word against Hinduism (or is it Hindutva?). Depending on whether you lean left or right (well mostly right), you might get into arguments with a numbskull cousin in the US who thinks that Howdy Modi was absolutely the last word in Indo-US foreign relations. Next level really. This might lead to the rest of the Genus Familia turning on you and precipitate your departure from the group. Peace will reign after this exit. But that is another post.

Maritalis is slightly tricky given the sensitivities involved. The behaviours are pretty much the same. But one has to consider carefully what and how one responds to…say a Swarajya Mag article that is presented in the group as the pinnacle of high thinking. The implications of offending an in-law are grave, especially if the dissenter is female. One usually retreats into silence and looks for opportunities to furtively exit the group. Some members of this group are eagerly awaiting when they can exit the group without it being announced as ‘xxx has left’  

Genus Alumnae: Technology has made it possible for us to remain in touch with classmates and buddies with whom we spent our childhood and grew into adulthood, exploring the vastness of the ocean of knowledge and discovering the joys of learning. Except when you realise that some have drowned in the ocean while others have not touched even a drop. The one that drowned aka The Intellectual, will climb the virtual soapbox, delivering a splendid soliloquy every now and then. Often these are met with awkward silences (oh yes! Awkward silences in WhatsApp groups are very much possible), causing said intellectual to get into a loop where it seems as if they are having a debate with themselves. Or there might be a word-off between those known to be adversaries during their student years, with each taking extreme positions and refusing to yield. Any attempt to defuse the situation might cause heads to be bitten off. There is also the possibility of the group hiving off into other groups of more ‘like minded’ members. I speak here chiefly of groups of graduate school alumni. There are school groups as well. But as I have steadfastly refused to join them, I’m unable to comment. Rumour has it that the levels of stupidity one encounters here are unprecedented.

Genus Corporatum: As mentioned, there are two families under this genus. The group of current employment, where you might be in a group of your team or your department. The overt purpose of these groups is to be connected and keep colleagues informed about goings on in one’s industry. But the real purpose is actually to maintain an ongoing process of high quality performance management by keeping your manager (or any manager really), abreast with how wonderful you are at your job with real time data. There is also the additional advantage of stoking some healthy envy…er…competition among your peers.  

The second type of group are those formed to connect with people who we used to work with. This is a risk laden enterprise. Although you may lay down rules and ask that people not waste your time with unnecessary forwards and political statements, nobody actually gives a fig about rules. You meet once again the person who made the lamest jokes at which nobody laughed and realise that they continue to do so. You re-encounter the school boys who never grew up. You re-acquaint yourself with the fake ones, who rose so high that the ground beneath their feet is not visible to them. And you once again gag at those whose sole purpose in life is self aggrandisement. You relive all the reasons which caused you to exit the organisation and decide to stick with the pleasant memories and quit the group.

There is one more emerging genus. The Genus Apartment Complex. I am a recent entrant to this group and do not have sufficient empirical data to be able to theorise about its psychology.

Disclaimer: This is purely a work of fiction and any resemblance to any person or place or WhatsApp group is coincidental.




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Good bye

Posted on Tuesday, July 30, 2019 by Deepa


Six o'clock. She rose from her desk and started gathering her things. On any other day, it would have involved bagging her laptop, putting her phone and glasses into her handbag, taking out the exact change for her train ride home and a series of cheerful 'bye! see you tomorrows' to her colleagues.

Now there was no laptop to bag. She had handed it over to the IT department half an hour ago. Along with that, the office issued phone. All things surrendered and a 'no dues certificate' signed and submitted.

Done. Complete. It was her last working day here.

She thought back to the last eight years. It was a complete cliche she supposed. But could not help herself.

She recalled her first day at the office. The security had not been briefed and nobody knew that she was a new joinee. Until a very junior looking guy had vouched for her and said - yes, I know. She has joined as the departmental head.

She recalled her first team. Of how hard she had worked to gain their trust and respect. Of the times she had locked horns with some, convinced she was right, and determined to prove her point. She recalled the elation she felt when she 'won'.

She recalled how she slowly learned people's true natures. Some very sincere and hardworking who everybody pushed around and barely respected. She recalled those who knew exactly what needed to be said to impress those in power and stay in their good books. She recalled those that had supported her in her difficult times and those that had made her life difficult.

And she recalled this fondly. No angst. No anger. She knew the nature of organisations was complex. It was the people that made the organisations. And despite some shocks and revelations about people's true personalities, she had generally been happy. She was recognised as one who did good work, was respected as being committed, sincere and reliable. As someone who cared about people around her.

And then the old order changed and yielded place to the new. New roles, new people, new positions. All of a sudden it seemed that she was back where she had begun.

Except this time it was different. In the beginning there was work but no team. And when the team came the work she was hired to do was somehow deemed less important. 'You dont have enough work' they said. 'Do this', 'Do that'....pushed around like a pawn in a game of chess. She watched as those in positions of authority did what they pleased. Unchallenged.

She had always believed herself to be one who could speak truth to power. And yet, this time, she felt silenced. It was as if no one was interested in anything she had to say. What she heard, unspoken, but loud and clear - don't ask questions. Just do. Tolerate. In. Silence.

This was not her. What was she doing? Was a paycheck at the end of the month so important that she could turn a blind eye to all those things that were anathema to her? Why was she enduring this tenure of ignominy. Where was her sense of self? Where had she gone?

And so she decided - enough. This had to stop now. No more was she going to tolerate this self doubt and self flagellation. She wanted out.

So here she was today. Saying goodbye. To what, she wasnt very sure. What she knew, loved and nurtured was no longer there. Replaced instead by this being, this beast that was consumed by its own self importance, its own self congratulation in pursuance of its own self absorption.

Snapping out of her reverie, she squared her shoulders, lifted her chin and walked calmly towards the exit. The security knew her this time. They smiled sadly. They knew that she would no longer be greeting them with her sunny 'Good morning!'. As it went in the song, there was really nothing left to say, but goodbye. 

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Random Acts of Kindness

Posted on Tuesday, November 10, 2015 by Deepa


Its been over  three years since I posted anything on my blog. But this seemed to be a fitting way to return to blogging. Perhaps the bright lights of Diwali had something to do with it.

Last week my mother was admitted in hospital due to low electrolyte levels. Doctors put her in the acute care unit for observation. My father called and asked me to come over to Hyderabad to help him.  He tried to sound calm and collected. But I knew that he was finding it stressful to handle things all by himself in Hyderabad.

I wanted to fly to him immediately. But he asked me to come the next day. I arrived home the next afternoon and by early evening, my father and I went to the hospital. Although visiting hours were from 5pm to 7pm, it was not applicable for the ACU. There visitors were permitted - one at a time - to see their loved ones only for an hour in the morning.

A fierce looking security guard barricaded the entrance to the ACU while anxious family members surrounded her with requests to be permitted to see their loved ones. She sternly refused every single one of them.

With a lot of trepidation I approached her and asked if I could be allowed to see my mother. She gave me a stare then asked my mother's name.

"Wait here. I'll ask if they will let you in" she snapped.

My father and I paced the floor outside the ACU for the next ten minutes while she continued swatting away  relatives much as she would have done flies.

A while later, she beckoned me "Block B, Bed No. 3. You can stay only for five minutes.Since you haven't seen your mother at all, I requested the duty doctor to permit you to meet her" was all she said.

"Thank you!" I said, very moved.

She need not have done that. Her job was only to see that relatives did not heckle the medical staff with their anxiety. And dealing with this, all day, everyday, can make a person snappy and irritable.

Yet, amidst all that, she noted the people who came to the ACU, as people with individual stories. And also had the humanity to see that exceptions could be made once in a while.

May her tribe increase!


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Who Is The Fairest Of Them All?

Posted on Sunday, September 23, 2012 by Deepa


Over lunch with friends this afternoon, we got to talking about our favourite books. Naturally, I stated mine as Pride and Prejudice, that enduring classic by Jane Austen. 
The first time I read Pride and Prejudice, I was just 8 or 9  years old. It was an abridged, illustrated version which helped me form mental images of the protagonists. A few years on, I discovered the original book in my father's bookshelf. There was no looking back after that. To say that I've read the novel a thousand times is an understatement. Each time I read it, I like it a bit more - if that is possible. 
Television and film has time and again given shape to this classic. Today I got to thinking that I should really do a post listing these and putting my personal take on it. 
Tarun Dhanrajgir
The very first time I saw a screen version of it was on Doordarshan, many years ago. Back when I was in the sixth standard. So that would be around 1986-87. Anybody remember a serial by the name Trishna? It was a 13 episode serial based on Pride and Prejudice that aired on Sundays. I was totally enthralled by this desi retelling of the classic. In the lead as Darcy was one Tarun Dhanrajgir. To my 12 year old self he was gorgeous! That he was a native of Hyderabad, my home town was a bonus. Near where I lived, there was this old mansion which was owned by 'Rai Bahadur Dhanrajgir' or something along those lines. Someone told me that Tarun Dhanrajgir lived there. I used to pass by the gate frequently in the hope that I would catch a glimpse of my heart throb. 
Sangeeta Handa
My present research indicates that the Dhanrajgirs were indeed an illustrious merchant family of Hyderabad who had risen to prominence under the patronage of the Nizam. A famous member of this family is Zubeida Begum who starred in Alam Ara. Also from this family is Rhea Pillai, known for her marriages to Sanjay Dutt and Leander Paes. 
The actress who played Elizabeth Bennett was Sangeeta Handa who later went on to act in A Mouthful of Sky (claiming to be India's only English soap opera) and a few other serials. 
Both these actors have faded away from the limelight. The only enduring name from this serial is that of Kittu Gidwani who played the role of Lydia Bennett and if I recall, did a fairly good job of it. 

The first English version of Pride and Prejudice I saw was on the erstwhile TNT channel. Made in 1940, it starred Lawrence Olivier as Darcy and Greer Garson as Elizabeth. Although Olivier fits the image of Darcy very well, somehow I it doesn't sit fine with me. Greer Garson as Elizabeth was unremarkable. 
In 1995 the BBC version aired an adaptation of the classic in a 6 part mini series. The series starred Colin Firth as Darcy - a role that won him world wide recognition and critical acclaim. The series itself received positive response and a whole host of awards, notably the BAFTA Television Award for "Best Drama Serial", "Best Costume Design", and "Best Make Up/Hair" in 1996. Jennifer Ehle was honoured with a BAFTA for "Best Actress", while Colin Firth and Benjamin Whitrow lost their BAFTA nominations for "Best Actor" to Robbie Coltrane of Cracker Firth won the 1996 Broadcasting Press Guild Award for "Best Actor", complemented by the same award for "Best Drama Series/Serial". The serial was recognised in the United States with an Emmy for "Outstanding Individual Achievement in Costume Design for a Miniseries or a Special", and was Emmy-nominated for its achievements as an "Outstanding Miniseries" as well as for choreography and writing. Among other awards and nominations, Pride and Prejudice received a Peabody Award,a Television Critics Association Award,and a Golden Satellite Award nomination for outstanding achievements as a serial. There is also a 1979-80 BBC version which I have not seen. 
The 2005 version with Kiera Knightley was disappointing. The cast assembled for the movie was great. Knightley was a good choice for Elizabeth. Donal Sutherland as Mr. Bennett was good and Dame Judy Dench as Lady Catherine de Burgh was outstanding. But somehow, even this wonderful ensemble of actors were not able to save the movie. Mathew Something for Darcy was disappointing. I do not know who this actor is although this is probably my own ignorance. And for some strange reason the film was poorly lit and everyone looked very grubby - as if they never had a bath! 
Gurinder Chadda's 'Bride and Prejudice' was AWFUL. The choice of Aishwarya Rai as Elizabeth was blasphemous. Playing Elizabeth Bennett would be a career high for any actress worth her salt. And to give it to this ice cube, this plastic doll was too much for me to take in. And secondly, why on earth was Darcy a gora?! Where is the clash of social strata that the story is known for? It just did not make any sense. Totally killed the story they did. 

As you can see, there have been varied versions and interpretations of Jane Austen's classic. My favourite version is the 1995 BBC version with Colin Firth. Doordarshan's Trishna was also good - not because the production values were great, or the acting was great. But because it was the first time my favourite story was played out by real people and for the most part, the lead pair kind of came close to my mental images of Darcy and Elizabeth. 


Which version is your favourite? 

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Old Wine Really Fine?

Posted on Sunday, November 27, 2011 by Deepa

House arrest on account of heavy rains has kept me indoors this weekend. To prevent cabin fever from taking over, I've been listening to Hindi film songs. When I played 'Jiya Jale Jaan Jale' from the 1998 film Dil Se, the husband remarked 'vandutaaya paati' (here comes the grandmother) referring to Lata Mangeshkar's aging voice in the song.

My husband and I do not like the same type of music. But on this count, I must say that I agree with him. With due respect to Rahman and Lata Mangeshkar, I feel she was not the right choice for this song.

The song is about a young, innocent bride looking forward to her wedding night. Gulzar's sensuous and smouldering lyrics sends shivers down your spine. Tells you so much without actually saying it. The picturisation was just right. A young fresh faced Preity Zinta, a bare bodied SRK, the lush greenery and the flowing water. The whole effect primordial and stripped down to the bare basics - Superb! And then that granny voice....Just listen to it:


Its not that I do not like Lata Mangeshkar's singing.Far from it. I think she has a golden voice and has given us some really memorable music. Take the song 'Jaise Radha Ne Maala Japi' from the film Tere Mere Sapne. Also about a young bride - although I guess its more about the glow from the wedding night! The tenderness and love that you get from this song is simply not there in Jiya Jale. And its not that the music is inferior. Music is top class in both songs.


Now here is a song from the music director everyone loves to hate - Anu Malik. Its from the film Asoka (you didn't know he was the music director for this film now did you?!).



The song 'Raat Ka Nasha Abhi' is laced with sensuality. (yes! Anu Malik does make good music once in a while) Also makes euphemistic references to sex. Again lyrics are by the inimitable Gulzar. The choice of singer, Chitra, in my opinion, lifts the song to another level. Call me a heretic, but for a song about love making, a 40 something singer is a better choice than a (then) 70 year old legend. The 'inspired' Anu Malik seems to know that. How come Rahman didn't?

And yet Jiya Jale was a super hit song - as it deserves to be. I just have the sense that, if say, Shreya Ghoshal had sung it, it might have moved from being a beautiful song to a mind blowing one.

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Micky Mouse In My House

Posted on Sunday, November 13, 2011 by Deepa

Over the Diwali break, I watched the film 'Stuart Little' on telly. A cute movie about a mouse who is adopted by a human family with a message that love transcends all - especially species! I however did not appreciate the film or its message. Reason? Just a week before Diwali, I chanced upon a similar rodent in the service area of my home. And let me tell you, these mice are far from being the friendly, eager-to-please critters that Stuart is.


Naturally I lost all sleep after I saw the mouse run and take cover behind my washing machine. All windows in the house were immediately shut. All the rooms were blockaded and the service area contained. Or so we thought. The next morning my husband woke me up with - 'Its there. Behind the microwave'.

'Oh no! What shall we do?!'. It was as if we were being held at gun point by robbers.

'Dont worry' soothed my husband. 'When the maid comes, I will ask her to drive it away'.

So much for my knight in shining armour I thought wryly.

Later that day, my husband called me at work and announced triumphantly on the phone 'The house is mouse free'

'Yay! How did you manage to do that?'

'Well, I asked the maid to move the crockery shelf. And he just leaped out from behind it and started running....'

'Did you kill it?!'

'No! He was too fast' (A likely story. My husband couldn't hurt a fly. Even if the fly was hurting him)

The long and short of it was that the rodent was driven out of the house with a stick and jhadoo. My husband breathed a sigh of relief and left on tour.

The next morning, I knew the mouse was back. There were droppings on the floor, it had knocked over a little cup in which I keep pins and rubber bands. Damn!

Another night went by with me barricaded inside my bedroom. But I had forgotten to shut the dining room window which was where the mouse had escaped from. And now seemed to be using it for entering the house. This time it even bit my kitchen mat to tatters. Enough was enough.

I called my husband and said 'Do something or I'm out of here! And dont tell me to set traps or use rat poison. I don't even want to see that ugly, dirty thing'

'Ok! Cool it. I will contact the pest control guy'.

So that evening the pest control guy, Sathya, arrived. He inspected the rooms and pointed out to me which ones the mouse had been in. Luckily it was only roaming around the dining room near the microwave. It had first gained entry by nibbling through the netlon we have put in the service area. And after it made its escape from the extermination drive initiated by husband dear, it found a new way in.

Sathya showed me a black line on the wall, right above the floor. 'That line shows the movements of the mouse. Since it is dirty, it leaves dirt marks and thats how we can find it' he said.

Really?! I soaked up all this information.How was he going to catch it? A trap? Poison (shudder! I cannot dispose mouse carcasses)

'No madam. Now a days there are new things called 'gum traps'. It is safer than regular traps which can injure the rat and spill its blood and make the area unsanitary. Poison could cause it to die and rot and leave a bad smell. Again there is risk of infection. The gum traps are the safest way to catch them'

The exact same gum trap we used
So what is a gum trap. It is essentially a note book (mean the paper note book not the computer) shaped article. When you open it (like a notebook), it reveals strong gum inside. It is placed at places frequented by the rat. When the rat moves over it, it gets stuck and remains stuck till you come find it. No blood and no rotting.You just fold the mouse in the trap and dispose it.Genius!

The traps were placed and I was advised to leave the window open.

Come morning, there was no sign of the intruder. Drat! Still, it was early days yet. Sathya said the traps could be placed and they were good for at least a year.

Luckily I did not have to wait a year. When I got home from work that evening, there it was! All stuck on the gum trap, just like Sathya had promised. How to dispose it? I was going nowhere near it. The apartment security guard obliged and my home was soon REALLY mouse free.

My joy knew no bounds. I had hated living all boxed up with windows and doors closed all the time. I called just about everybody I knew with the glad tidings.

All's well that end's well I thought. I became a staunch supporter of the gum trap. To me it was the next best thing after penicillin had been discovered.

Until last week. I opened the service area door and a black shadow darted past. 'EEEEEEkkkk' I screamed.

'What happend?' shouted my husband from the other room, ' Lizard?' (Yeah. I'm petrified of lizards. But after this mouse business, I think I'm learning to like the reptiles. They eat cockroaches and do not make a nuisance)

'Guess who is back?!'

'WHAT?!' asked my husband rushing to the service area. But the mouse was gone.

We've blocked the opening in the bitten netlon and put another gum trap in place. Doors and windows are closed in the evening. The guy has not re-appeared since that one time. But everytime I hear some sound, I start, thinking its the mouse who's back. Brings to mind that song 'Zara si aahat hoti hai, tho dil sochta hai. Kahin yeh WOH tho nahi!!'


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Born Again

Posted on Thursday, August 18, 2011 by Deepa

Being a Hindu, I'm programmed to believe in the concept of rebirth. Apart from that, it gives me solace to think that if things did not work out for me in this life, they will in another. I'm a staunch believer in second chances - even (or is it especially) when they transcend lives.

So if I was to be reborn, what would I want to be born as? Not that these choices are in our hands really. But I like to think about it - especially when I'm dead beat or flying around getting work done and trying to race against time.

If I had a chance at rebirth, I think I'd like to be born as a water buffalo.You think thats funny? The two others that I mentioned it to this last week also thought it was hilarious.

But if you think about it carefully, its really a very good choice for a harried, always-on-my-feet, woman-of-the-21st-century, slave to time like me.

The Bubalus bubalis is a noble creature. In my opinion, it is the epitome of relaxation and thoughtfulness, bordering Nirvana. Just picture it, sitting in muddy water, black hide glistening in the sun, swishing flies with its tail, chewing the cud and contemplating, with half open eyes, the world as it whizzes past. Now contrast this picture with the daily routine of any working woman. Wake up to the sound of an alarm, rush about preparing breakfast, lunch, braving traffic and getting to work on time in a photo finish. Then there is the roller coaster ride of dealing with work issues for at least 8 hours. And if you're a mom, then you can multiply this entire effort by two.

Don't you feel jealous? Wouldn't you want to be this animal? What does the world expect from a buffalo really? Practically nothing. Ok, maybe a couple of litres of rich milk a day. Permit a human to tug at your privates a couple of times a day. Ok, maybe thats a tad undignified. Let the passing bird sit on your broad back and pick worms off your skin. Thats as symbiotic a relationship as any! Oh and ignore the many insults and curses that use you as a reference point - In Hindi: Kala akshar bhains barabar (to indicate ignorance) or bhains ke aagey been bajana (to indicate that you have no appreciation of finer things). In Tamil: 'Yerumamaadu!' - a curse to indicate girth and immovability, usually uttered in jam packed buses and trains.

That apart, there's really nothing to complain about now is there? Its a life of self actualisation.

www.cartoonstock.com
Yes, I'd like to be reborn as a water buffalo. With curly horns - as opposed to the long straight ones. A bit of vanity maybe, but I think the curly ones look cuter!

So tell me, if you had the chance to be reborn, what would you want to be born as? Leave your thoughts in the comment box. And feel free to tag others on this topic if you like. Do let me know if you do, so I could also read it.

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Age No Bar

Posted on Wednesday, July 27, 2011 by Deepa

Hi all! Yes, Yes, I've beem MIA for a few weeks. Usual story - busy....er...actually no. Just could not find the motivation to write. :((

Soulmates?
Discovered a channel called 'Love CBS' on my Reliance Big TV connection and came upon an interesting tidbit of information on a show called 'The Insider'. Basically it gives the low down and dirt on the lives of Hollywood celebs. 'Timepass' as my friends would say. Now I came across this bit of news which made me sit up and take notice.

An actor by the name of Doug Hutchison - aged 51 - recently tied the knot with a girl named Courtney Stodden - aged.....hold your breath...16!!! Child marriage is alive and well people! And seems to be vacationing in America by the looks of this piece of info.

So who are these people? What is their claim to fame?

Dough Hutchison is a character actor seen in movies like The Green Mile and television shows like Lost and The X Files. I seem to recollect seeing him in this last one. I was a big fan of the X Files. Do any of you remember the episode about a guy who ate human livers? If you do, you know who this guy is.

The sweet sixteen lady, Courtney claims to be a 'country' singer and was an erstwhile Miss Teen USA contestant. Now if you ask me, the girl does not look 16. She looks at least 25. And a typical bleached blonde with a great bod (and probably an empty head). I do not like saying uncharitable things about my sex, but I'm going to go out on a limb here. She looks like a sluttified version of Paris Hilton - who in my not-so-important-opinion is already scraping rock  bottom.

So how did they meet? At some theatre workshop organised by Hutchison and thats when love bloomed. The man apparently called up the girl's mother to ask permission to court / date / see her underage daughter. So it would appear that this whole thing happened with the blessing of the mother. In fact, news reports say that the marriage took place with 'parental consent'.

Jokes apart, the news made me feel rather nauseated. I know its a cliche - but the guy is old enough to be her father! And in some cultures, her grandfather!!! One wonders naturally, what brought them together? Lets try a few theories on for size:

1. They love each other (Yawn!): Well if you watch their TV interviews, they keep nuzzling each other, holding hands and saying things like 'She was a virgin. I only wish I was also a virgin'.

2. Its about sex and machismo (Now you're talking!): He's 51. Probably viagra dependent. She's young and nubile and er...a virgin. In some cultures, it is believed that sex with a virgin can cure all manner of sexual disorders.Then there's pedophilia of course.

2.1 Take your supposed star crossed lovers story to the media, get people (and bored bloggers like me) to sit up and take notice. Next thing you know, you got a reality show with top ratings (who doesn't like a bit of voyeurism) and rake in the moolah!

My money's on Theory no. 2.1 people.

While these two wax eloquent on various channels about how their media appearances can be "a forum to hopefully help people change their perspective and expand their minds about love", I can't help thinking about my own country. Marriage at 16 is not something that is unusual here, particularly in states like Rajasthan and Bihar. In fact, girls get married younger than that. It is universally recognised to be one of the stumbling blocks in women's development and emancipation. But then again, India has a long way to go before we can be really a 'developed society'.

But how does one explain the same thing happening in western - and supposedly more 'developed' societies? Are 16 year olds really that different? Are they not the same hormone affected teens, searching for their identities and sense of self within their respective cultural contexts? Is 16 really a permissable age of marriage?


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A Picture's Worth: Answers And A Little More

Posted on Friday, June 10, 2011 by Deepa

Thanks to those six people who took the trouble of taking the quiz :) Here I was thinking I would be flooded with answers. That'll teach me! So here are the answers:

Misha
Most of you guessed this correctly. It is indeed Misha or Mishka or The Olympic Mishka. The Russian Bear that was the mascot of the 1980 Summer Olympic Games. If you look carefully, the Olympic rings are seen on his belt.

My research on the net reveals some interesting tidbits of information about this cute fella.

The name Misha is the diminutive for the Russian name Mikhail. Apparently most bears in Russian fairy tales have this name because of its similarity to the Russian word for bear - Miedvied (beats me how this sounds like Mikhail. But thats what Wikipedia says!) - and the diminutive form for this word is Mishka. Ergo, Misha.
A competition for drawing the bear was held in 1977 by the organising committee. Victor Chizhikov, a children's books illustrator's entry was chosen winner and the rest, as they say, is history.

Misha was the first mascot to achieve commercial success in terms of merchandising. Loved by children, many of us tried to draw him with varying degrees of sucess. When you see him you automatically say 'awww! cho-chweet!! Did you know, in the closing ceremony of the Games, he even shed a tear?

Appu

In 1982, the 9th Asian Games were held in Delhi. The mascot was Appu, a baby elephant, known in real life as Kuttinarayanan. At the age of 3, Appu was gifted by a devotee to the temple at Guruvayur. At the age of 5, he was chosen to lead a team of 35 elephants to the Asian Games at Delhi. This playful elephant gathered a lot of attention at the Games, including that of the then Prime Minister, Indira Gandhi.

Appu's story however ends sadly. At the age of 7, he stepped on a septic tank and fractured his leg. A wound from which he never recovered. Appu breathed his last on 14th May, 2005. RIP Appu.

India's first amusement park, Appu Ghar was named after this guy. Unfortunately, even this has not survived. The land came under dispute and the park was finally closed in February 2008.

Veera
Veera, is an Ongole bull and the official mascot of the 32nd National Games held in Hyderabad in 2002. Veera is supposed to signify the spirit of sports with his intelligence, strength, passion, confidence and endurance. The choice of an Ongole bull as mascot of the games was strategic. Ongole is a town in Andhra Pradesh and famous for its breed of bulls that have been exported to other countries. For eg. the Brahmana Bull in America is supposed to be an off shoot of the Ongole bull. The Ongole bull is seen in sculptures of Nandi in Shiva temples. Ongole bulls are prized, among other reasons, for their resistance to mad cow disease. In recent times there have been scandals of biopiracy and illegal acquisition of genetic material to breed these bulls. Read more about it at A Load of Bull



Bholu
In 2002, Indian Railways celebrated its 150th year. And Bholu the Guard was its official mascot. Elephants are big and reliable, carrying huge weights and are also friendly. Indian Railways wanted to project this image for itself. Hence we have Bholu.

I remember there was a HUGE blimp of Bholu tied down in front of Rail Nilayam, the headquarters of South Central Railways in Hyderabad. My dad and I used to go past it for walks along with my (then) four year old niece. Every time she saw Bholu, her face would light up and smiling she would cry out 'Bolu!' - pronouncing it the Tamil way. And my dad, railwayman first, last and always, would fairly swell with pride at that!!


Sarva Shiksha Abhiyan
Ah! Now you remember! You must have seen it painted on umpteen government school buildings. This is the logo of the Sarva Shiksha Abhiyan (SSA). I just love how it has been conceived. One speaks of how children, especially those that go to govt. schools, hate studying and how it is such a drag. I feel this logo tries to dispel that and show how school can be FUN. The girl sitting at the front of the pencil is an indication of how girls' education is still lagging behind. Putting her at the front sends a strong message of the need to put girls in the front. The boy and girl sitting on a pencil, to my mind, speaks of how education can be a driver for equality, for change.

While on the subject, have you seen this lovely video about the SSA by Kanika and Bharatbala? 



And the winner is......Sudeshna! You got all the answers right. Something special coming up when I see you next. And for the rest of you, this......

 
THANKS FOR TRYING!!!

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A Picture's Worth

Posted on Saturday, June 4, 2011 by Deepa

Today, as I was browing through some random sites, I chanced upon the logo of the International Year of Forests 2011. Set me thinking about the various logos and mascots I've seen over the years. Logos and mascots convey so much - they identify a cause, a brand, an event - with just a few strokes of the pen. And their appeal is universal.

So here's what I'm gonna do. I'll post images of some famous logos and mascots ,and you identify it. If possible, tell me what it is associated with. These may seem like no brainers to many - particularly those of the bearded variety that are quiz mad (you know who you are!). This is just a cub attempt and a gateway to thoughts and personal experiences that these logos and mascots represent for me.

For people of my generation, who grew up in the 80s and 90s, the following pictures and their associations should not be that difficult to guess. So here goes....


Who's this cute  bear? What is his name?
There is a clue in the  picture.
 This guy is of desi origin. A well loved mascot from the 80s. India's first amusement park is named after him. Who's he?


 This is Veera - his name is on his vest. Who is he and what is his claim to fame? 

These elephant mascots just get cuter and cuter. Who's this chap? 


A very common logo for a lofty cause. Can you guess which one?
Leave your guess in the comment box. Those who guess correctly, will get something special!

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You Love Me! You Really Do!!!

Posted on Sunday, April 17, 2011 by Deepa


Awards and recognition are always wonderful, especially to an attention hungry Leo like myself. But when it comes from a fellow blogger, it is all the more sweet and coveted. Thanks Rachna for conferring this honour on me. Right back at ya!!

As a recipient of this award, I'm expected to link back to the person who gave me this award I also have to write 7 honest things about myself. That's going to make me think very hard now! But guess it could be fun.

1. I am your typical Leo-aggressive, determined, passionate and a bit of a drama queen. I am rather 'take charge' in a situation and also a control freak.

2. I never do things in half measures. I love and hate with equal intensity. I have high expectations of people that I love and feel bad if they do not measure up to it - impractical and unrealistic I know. But there you are. But for those that I hate, I ignore them and / or cut them out of my life totally.

3. I am generally straight forward and say things openly, frankly and probably rashly also. I have been told many times to temper my words. I try - can't say I succeed much.

4. Quick tempered - surprise! surprise! I flare up easily and say things which I regret later. I used to think I cool off easily also - but turns out that I'm actually a sulker!! I need to be coaxed and cajoled to get out of my bad mood. Bad girl!!

5. I'm articulate and like to think that communication is my strong point. I can speak several languages. I can speak in any situation and do not get fazed by public speaking. Perhaps my writing is also not-so-bad?

6. I am a loyal friend. I choose my friends with care and try to stand by them when they need me. Not to say that I mince words in telling them if they are in the wrong. But I will still stand by them. And my friends will vouch for this.

7. Although I do not believe in gender stereotypes, I like girlie stuff like clothes, make up, cooking and shopping :)))

So, those of you who know me - do you agree with these 7 things about me?

I'd like to pass on this Award to three people:

Meera : My sister, my friend and a recent convert to blogging. Am super impressed at how well she has taken to this new passion of hers.

Sandhya : I find her writing very sweet, gentle and rather maternal.

Partha : A recent friend. I am amazed at his enthusiasm for writing and creating when most others like him would not be.

Keep up the blogging!!

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Aging Lotharios, PYTs And Visualising Melody

Posted on Thursday, August 5, 2010 by Deepa

Lately I have taken to viewing old Hindi film songs on youtube. Last night I came across the song 'Jaane bhi de sanam mujhe' from the film Around The World in 8 Dollars. Made in 1967, the movie stars Raj Kapoor and Rajeshwari and is shot in some exotic locales - for that period - all over the world. I saw this movie many years ago. Cannot remember what the story was about. But I do remember the songs and they are wonderful. The songs feature the voice of Sharda Rajan Iyengar, a lesser known singer. Even though she had a lilting voice, sang beautifully and won a Filmfare Award. But this post is not about her.

Ever wondered, how some songs are lovely to listen to-but when seen in the movie, the visual impact is less than what you expected, leaving you disappointed. For instance, the chemistry could be absent between the actors on whom the song is picturised and would make an otherwise excellent melody fall flat on its face. Classic example - the song 'Roz Roz Aankhon Taley' from an obscure movie called Jeeva starring Sanjay Dutt and Mandakini. Superb melody from R.D.Burman and sensuous lyrics from Gulzar . Picturisation? Pits! Take a look:



Watching the song 'jaane bhi de sanam mujhe'I was disenchanted. It is an enchanting song. Its the sort of song where the gentleman ought to be tall, dark (or fair as is your taste) and impossibly handsome and be conducting himself in a manner where the girl breaks out in sweat!

So does ole' Raju Awaara Kapoor do that? NOT! He's chubby and looks distinctly avuncular. Poor Rajeshwari can barely get her arms around his portly person. To give him his due, he tries. He's not a bad actor and has done the yearning lover perfectly in the past. Remember Barsaat when he plays the violin and Nargis flings herself into his arms, driven by helpless passion? In this song, he attempts the intense yearning look, holding hands and titling his girl's chin to gaze into her eyes. But his age defeats him and he ends up looking like a fond parent instead of a lover. Add to this a black leather jacket rolled up at the sleeves and its a recipe for disaster.

Watching him struggle, one barely notices Rajeshwari. A PYT and the object of the hero's desire, one doesn't expect much from her. Though I must point out that her styling in this movie is reminiscent of Audrey Hepburn complete with the bangs and doe eyed look.

Not everybody can be Cary Grant, romancing women with panache at age 60. What do you think? Watch the song and tell me if I'm being too harsh and judgmental.



P.S.: Apologies for the video quality. I got it from youtube.

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My Sins AGAINST Gender Stereotypes

Posted on Thursday, July 8, 2010 by Deepa

I was tagged by my blogger friend Maradhi Manni aka Sandhya to do this. That was about a week ago. I didn't see it until last night. So here goes.

The upbringing my sister and I received never made us realise that the world treats men and women differently or that there were different expectations from each. Perhaps not having brothers was the reason why. Or maybe it was because our father is a liberal minded man who believed that his daughters should reach for the stars. Whatever be the case, this is what I grew up to be and I' rather proud of it.

1. Self confident, aggressive, articulate are adjectives that usually describe me. They're also generally considered MALE traits. In fact I've been chided for my aggressive behaviour many times while growing up.

2. Some of my developmental milestones were delayed-I didn't get married the moment I completed my education at the age of 23. Worse, I got married in my thirties. And I'm not in a tearing hurry to pop out babies even though people say that the sound of my biological clock ticking is deafening.

3. I do not do the usual stuff that married women do. I did not change my last name. I do not wear a thaali (mangalsutra), toe rings or sindoor. I do not perform any rituals or poojas. My one concession to spirituality is a daily reading of the 'Hanuman Chalisa'

4. On social occasions, I am usually to be found in the company of men. I enjoy their company and seem to relate to them better. It irritates me to sit with the women and discuss recipes or school bus timings.

5. I can be relied upon to keep a cool head and take quick decisions during emergencies. People usually lean on me for support during crises.

6. I've lived alone in a big city and pretty much fended for myself. I rented an apartment, drove about by myself and even went for movies alone. It was weird at first. But then I began to enjoy it.

7. A few years back I went overseas for a vacation. I went alone and spent my own money. A dream come true. Expensive - but a dream nevertheless.

8. I returned to full time work recently and my father-in-law helps me in kitchen work. He cuts veggies and puts on the cooker so that all I need to do is throw things together when I finally wake up. Today he offered to take over the cooking of the entire lunch. I have gladly relinquished the responsibility.

There are two things where I do uphold the stereotype:

9. I love clothes, especially saris. Even a four door wardrobe seems insufficient! (refer post dated 7th July).

10. I am afraid of the dark and need to sleep with a night light on. Maybe the residue of a childhood nightmare.

So those are my sins. God forgive me for them! I don't know how to go about this tagging business. If you're reading this, and want to try it, by all means go ahead. It is open to persons of both genders.

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What Was She Thinking?

Posted on Sunday, March 28, 2010 by Deepa

I have a lot of time on my hands these days. Naturally, I spend a huge chunk of it in front of the idiot box. So I was watching this program E! tonight. And realised how behind the times I am. It seems that Sandra Bullock's marriage is on the rocks. Turns out that her husband - who goes by the name Jesse James - was cheating on her with a tatoo model (it is news to me that this is a lucrative career option!) by the name Michelle 'Bombshell' McGee.

Now I like Sandra Bullock very much. I've seen many of her movies: Speed, While You Were Sleeping, Two Weeks Notice, Miss Congeniality etc and I really like this lady. I find her immensely likeable and relatable (if there is such a word). She's like....the Juhi Chawla of Hollywood! But her choice in men is lamentable. I did a bit of digging on the net and found out things about this Jesse James character that make you wonder - What was she thinking!

So this guy is a TV personality and owns a company that makes motorcycles. He's been married twice before he married Sandra Bullock (which to my conservative Indian way of thinking is one time too many). But the interesting bit is, that his second marriage was to a porn star, who according to wikipedia, was also convicted for tax evasion. Now I don't want to be judgemental here - but even the most open minded person would agree that there exists a yawning chasm between convicted porn star and classy Oscar winning actress.

What is it about smart,successful and beautiful women that makes them choose such losers? Take Zeenat Aman, who was battered by her beau Sanjay Khan, so badly that it left her with a permanently damaged eye. Or the lovely Hema Malini who married a married man, and settled for being the 'second wife'. Does the world of glamour and showbiz play such havoc with your psyche, that your good judgement and sense of self preservation totally deserts you? Or is this a risk that comes with any relationship? And it is only because these people are celebrities that it gets highlighted?

Or is it just that Deepa's idle mind has become the devil's workshop?!

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Know More Tag

Posted on Friday, August 21, 2009 by Deepa

A lazy friday afternoon....feel like a siesta. I came across this tag while browsing a blog and thought to try it myself. Here goes...

Copy the following questions to your own note, erase my answers, enter yours, and tag your friends. Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real and nothing made up! If the person before you had the same first initial, you must use different answers. You cannot use any word twice and you can’t use your name for the boy/girl name question.
Some of these were really tough and I HAD to think!

1. What is your name: Deepa
2. A four Letter Word: Dawn
3. A boy’s Name: Devavrata
4. A girl’s Name: Deeksha
5. An occupation: Driver (he! he! maybe its formula racing !)
6. A colour : Deep blue (there is NO colour with D - I googled it. What? You're not supposed to google?!! :D )
7. Something you wear: Dress (Ok. Predictable. But my options are limited. If my name began with M, I'd have more to work with. Like 'Mekhla')
8. A food: Dhokla (viva Gujarat!)
9. Something found in the bathroom: Dressing table (mine is in the bedroom
10. A place: Denmark
11. A reason for being late: Drunk!
12. Something you shout: Damn *X@#***
13. A movie title: Drohkaal
14. Something you drink: Daaru
15. A musical group: Doors (yes, I know there is a THE, but I'm taking some license here)
16. An animal: Dog (my favourite animal. Absolutely love them)
17. A Street name: Deen Dayal Upadhyay Marg (this just popped into my mind. Is it in Delhi?)
18. A type of car: Daewoo (couldn't think of anything else)
19. A song title: Dil hoom hoom kare
20. A verb: dusting

Who will I tag? Anyone who comments should(can) take up the tag, if they haven’t already! C’mon people tags are fun, and they are a sureshot blogpost, if you have the bloggers’ block. Also, tags are a good way to know each other! What do you say? Do I have a good sales pitch?

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The 15 book tag

Posted on Tuesday, June 30, 2009 by Deepa

The rules are: "Don't take too long to think about it. Fifteen books you've read that will always stick with you. First fifteen you can recall in no more than 15 minutes. Tag up to 15 friends, including me because I'm interested in seeing what books my friends choose."

1. Swami and Friends (R.K.Narayan) - Warm childhood memories...lazy sunday afternoons..and Appa reading about Swami's exploits from the book....
2. Rebecca (Daphne du Maurier) - Eerie and mysterious. The imagery was very powerful. Red rhododendrons?
3. The Hungry Tide (Amitav Ghosh)- The first (and probably) the only book I have read set in the Sundarbans. It was a great experience.
4. The Glass Palace (Amitav Ghosh)- I learnt a great deal about Burma
5. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)- My first 'romantic' novel. Fell in love with Mr. Darcy
6. The Lord of the Flies (William Golding)- Literature text in +2. Analysed it to death! But it was great.
7. Sybil (can't recall author) - Wonderful story about a girl with multiple personality disorder. 16 split personalities. Nothing can beat that!
8. To Sir with Love (E.R.Braithwaite)- am a sucker for emotions.
9. Srikantha (Sarat Chandra)- totally deconstructed the structure of a novel. No intro, no body and no climax. Story went in a straight line. Interesting!
10. David Copperfield (Charles Dickens) - Again - middle school literature. Loved the story.
11. The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseni) - My first exposure to Afghan society. I found it is very similar to Indian society - same class/caste system and many words are similar to Urdu.
12. A Thousand Splendid Suns (Khaled Hosseni) - Wonder at how a man could capture the lives and feelings of women so beautifully.
13. Memoirs of a Geisha (can't recall author) - loved the exposure to Japanese culture
14. The Thorn Birds (Colleen Maccullough) - I just love stories of forbidden love
15. Riot (Shashi Tharoor) - See point no. 14

Completed in 7 minutes!

I must admit that these books arent all the ones that will 'stick with me' - I was just racing against time!

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Not 'Rakhi' but a 'Swayamvar'

Posted on Friday, June 26, 2009 by Deepa


The name Rakhi Sawant usually evokes a grimace and shudder of revulsion from me. I try not to make uncharitable statements about other members of my sex. But Rakhi makes it very difficult not to do so. For starters, its her face - hard and coarse. Then its her voice - loud and coarse. The whole image is one of coarseness. And it has little to do with her bare and dare act.

The latest among her exploits is that apparently, she's tying the knot. And being the attention seeker that she is, it is going to happen on national (possibly international) television. Teasers are doing the rounds on TV with Rakhi trying to act coy, barely managing to tame her silicon implanted twins in a low neck choli and asking viewers for their 'ashirwad'(blessings). An almost-obese Ram Kapoor looks fondly on (perhaps at the twins), talking about his 'friend' Rakhi's marriage. Its so sweet I could just barf!

It was interesting to note the profile of Rakhi's suitors. If the media is to be believed there were 12,500 suitors who have now come down to a more manageable 16. The average age of these guys is 25 years - when guys are known to be wet behind the ears. The youngest is 21 and runs a poultry business. See the 'chick connection'?! (Sorry, couldn't resist that one). There is one who is in law enforcement in J&K. It would be safe to assume that he has a pronounced death wish (remember how Rakhi walloped her then flame Abhishek on Valentine's Day in front of the whole world?) 50% of these suitors are from small towns like Saharanpur, Raipur and Kanpur. Their professions range from fitness trainer, stuntman to vastu consultant. And of course, the romantic 'NRI'.

Two things are obvious from this. These young men see marriage to Rakhi as a means to an end. The end being a foot in the door to the glamour world. Second, it seems that the producers of this reality show have picked suitors who are mavericks - the type who could be the hero of a Hindi movie. Figures, since Rakhi has been quoted as saying that she wants a husband who is: " as smart as SRK, with Salman’s build and Aamir’s attitude"-Think of the roles these gentlemen have essayed in their films. SRK-quintessential NRI. Salman Khan evergreen tapori (stuntman, fitness trainer et al), Aamir Khan - a bit of everything.

Rakhi Sawant is actually a great choice for a reality show. She loves being the center of attention, doesn't mind compromising her dignity to gain fame and loves giving madcap quotes like: "I have full faith in Jesus. Duniya bhar se heere aayenge auditions ke liye... (‘gems’ from across the world will come for the auditions). God will help me choose the right person"! Add to it her penchant for getting into controversies (Mika you listening?) and you've topped the TRP rating. If in the process you have further commodified women - who cares about them anyway? They are an essential commodity in marketing. The means and the end. Its the moolah that matters right?

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