Showing posts with label Women. Show all posts

Chronicles of a Sari Wearer : The Colour Purple


In the run up to the International Women’s Day this year, a mail popped into my mailbox. HR was inviting us to celebrate the day by (among other stuff) wearing purple. That made perfect sense. Purple is the official color of International Women’s Day, founded more than a century ago after some 15,000 women marched in New York City to demand better working conditions and voting rights.

I was thrown into a quandary. Running through a mental catalogue of my wardrobe, I realized that I did not have any outfit in that colour. Till…wait! There was that gorgeous silk sari that my sister had gifted me for my birthday a year back. Yes. Problem solved. I would wear a sari to work on the designated day.

Now sari wearing plans are easier made than executed. At least for me. It requires meticulous planning, at least 24 hours in advance. The sari has to be matched with the correct blouse and petticoat. And most importantly, the blouse has to fit.

Fit – a tiny three letter word. But with enormous significance when regarded in terms of the commute to work and back and an eight hour work day. It had to show off one’s silhouette perfectly, while also allowing sufficient space to breathe comfortably. Be snug and loose at the same time. A huge ask for an item of clothing, especially for those of us flirting with the wrong side of the body mass index.   

Ever the optimist, I took said sari out of my cupboard, hunted for and found the ‘matching blouse’. Made of the same fabric, it was of recent antiquity, having been stitched just a year and a half ago. So I was pretty sure it would fit in the way that I want it to. Did I try it out to be sure? No. Did I note that the cut was different? No. Did I remember that, unlike my other blouses, it did not have buttons down the front, but a zipper down the side, under my left arm? Of course not.

Imagine my horror then, when, come D-Day, I stepped out of the shower and realized that the blouse could not be worn without assistance. So I hollered for the husband, who, prince among men that he is, stepped up readily to the task. And gave up thirty seconds later.

“The fabric will tear if I pull”

“Hold the ends together and then pull. It won’t tear”

“Turn this side. I need more light. Wait, let me put on my glasses”

Some progress. But there was quite a way to go.

“How long has it been since you stitched this blouse?”

“About a year and a half. Why?”

“You’ve put on weight”

“Do you do this on purpose?! Get some perverse pleasure in pissing me off?”

After much tugging and pulling, the zipper finally slid into place. And left me feeling like a swaddled baby. Barely able to breathe.

Further conversation ensues with the husband.

“I can barely breathe”

“Yeah. Risky”

“What?”

“Better carry a spare blouse with you”

“And how do you suppose I’m going to take it off without assistance?”

“So what do we do now?”

“Help me get it off!”

More tugging and pulling ensues, till I’m finally free of the torturous blouse. Oxygen floods my lungs. I start breathing again.

“What will you do now? You’re supposed to wear purple”

“Well I like breathing and staying alive”

I finally settle on a blue top and beige trousers and take myself off to work.

When a colleague points out that my outfit isn’t exactly purple, I snap “Well, its purple adjacent!”

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Amsterdam's Red Light District


Even if you know absolutely zilch about Amsterdam, you would have heard about its Red Light District. De Wallen or De Walletjes is one of the most famous tourist attractions of the city. Tourists come here in droves (myself included!) to see women of all nationalities display their 'attractions' in big glass windows illuminated in red light. De Wallen, Singelgebied and Ruysdaelkade, form the Rosse Buurt or red light areas of Amsterdam. 

Prostitution is legal in the Netherlands and was legalised in the year 2000. But it was not always so. A perusal of the country's history indicates that during the Middle Ages (ie 5-15 centuries AD), prostitution was tolerated as a 'necessary evil' but considered to be a dishonourable profession. In the 16th century, the city of Amsterdam started regulating prostitution. Only the police could keep a brothel. According to accounts dating back to 1413, these were confined to two streets in Amsterdam, Pijlsteeg and Halsteeg. Those who practiced prostitution elsewhere in the city were arrested and their clients fined. 

In the 17th century, however, with the decline of the Catholic religion and rise of Protestantism, the city stopped regulating prostitution. It was outlawed and prostitutes were considered 'evil' and having a polluting influence. Moreover, the implementation of anti prostitution laws was weak and and the enforcers preferred to leave brothels alone as long as they did not cause any trouble. 

In the 18th century, with a growing middle class (possibly due to the Industrial Revolution), public attitudes towards prostitution became more rigid, moralistic and conservative.  The working conditions of prostitutes was bad, with many of them living in poverty, being exposed to sexually transmitted diseases and bearing the illegitimate children of their clients. 

In the beginning of the 19th century, when Netherlands was under the rule of King Louis Bonaparte, prostitution was once again regulated to protect soldiers against venereal diseases. Prostitutes were forced to register themselves and undergo mandatory medical examinations. They were provided with a red card which was a sort of work permit. If they were found to be infected with any venereal disease, their red card was taken away and replaced with a white card and prohibited from working until they were free of their disease. 

Later in the 19th century, prostitution came under the purview of the Abolitionist movement (a movement in Western Europe and the Americas to end slavery) that called for the abolition of regulated prostitution in the manner that it was being practiced at the time.  The living conditions of prostitutes continued to be bad or worsen. They were usually under the control of a madam, living under severe debt and with strict control over their mobility. At first the movement targeted only the mandatory health checks for prostitutes but later shifted focus to the exploiters and people who profited from prostitution 

From the late 20th century onwards, a policy of tolerance or gedoogbeleid  was adopted by many local governments. This policy was premised on harm reduction based on the belief that anti prostitution laws would be counter productive and the best way to protect women was to 'tolerate' prostitution. Although prostitution was defined as a legal profession in 1988, it took until the year 2000 for it to move from the limbo of 'tolerance' to getting full legal status. 

The Netherlands is one of the most progressive countries in the world. I recently heard that due to a negligible crime rate, their empty jails are being used to house Syrian refugees! So the way their history, on the issue of prostitution, has evolved, is nothing less than commendable. However, as one of the top three organised crimes in the world, the dark underbelly of this profession is not so easily controlled. The Dutch government has been cracking down and shutting brothels where crime is taking place and I am sure they will have to continue to be alert and active to prevent crime and injustice. 

So what did our trio do on that chilly May evening in De Wallen? After my husband and I picked up our fallen jaws from the pavement and after our eyes had settled back into their sockets, we took a brief tour of the streets of the RLD. I held fast to my husband's hand and hissed a warning of  "Only Looking!" at him. 

I witnessed a gorgeous woman with platinum blonde hair, barge out of the window and threaten to break a man's camera when she caught him photographing her. (Photography is STRICTLY prohibited in the RLD). I looked at the sex toys displayed in shop windows in awe, my mind not comprehending to what use they could be put. I looked askance at a young man (overcome by a smorsgasbord of morality and feminism) when he gawked at one of the girls in the window and said "What a rack!" and then proceeded to negotiate a deal with her for 50 Euro. I smiled at how my two escorts barricaded me against the testosterone driven crowd. I argued that I wanted to visit the museum of prostitution while my husband and his friend dissuaded me. It was only because I could barely feel my toes in the freezing five degree temperature that I gave up the idea. 

I finally came away from the RLD feeling philosophical about the complete commodification of the female form and an economy that is built upon two breasts and a vagina. 

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Udaan: Flights of fantasy

The long weekend over Christmas brought a much needed respite for me. I've been working very hard and am totally worn out. So I decided that I would spend Christmas relaxing and taking it easy. And being an inveterate TV buff, what better way to do that than to watch some telly. (I use the word telly a little loosely since I watch movies and shows on YouTube also.) 

I surfed through various channels but nothing caught my fancy. Imagine my delight then when I chanced upon an episode of Udaan. For those of you who might not remember, this was a series that was telecast on #Doordarshan between 1989-1991. It tells the story of Kalyani Singh, a woman IPS officer and her trials and tribulations. It was written and directed by Kavita Choudhary (remember Lalithaji of the old Surf ad? "Surf ki kharidari mein hi samajhdari hai"). All thirty episodes are available on YouTube. Although the quality is not good in places. 

As I watched those long forgotten episodes, I recalled how much I  loved this serial and how eagerly I looked forward to each episode. It was telecast at a time when I was growing up, forming my own aspirations and longing to fly towards my own future. I even briefly entertained the idea of joining the civil services, much to my father's delight. Of course that idea came to naught pretty soon. 

Udaan is special for many reasons. It tells the story of a woman struggling against the odds to make her mark in what is generally considered a male domain. The narrative is strong and evocative without being jingoistic. Kalyani is  not the vengeance seeking Rekha of Khoon Bhari Maang (a film that released around the same time that the serial was aired). She is your everyday woman, strong and vulnerable at the same time. Facing challenges just like we did - trying, failing, succeeding - learning about herself a little more along the way - just like we did. 

And of course when love touched her life, what joy it brought us all. Shekhar Kapoor as Harish Menon, the DM of Sitapur is absolutely fantastic-bringing  his own brand of charisma and sexiness to the role. His chemistry with Kalyani worked very well. The sparks fly between them, nuanced by the fact that within the government system he was her superior and hence proprieties had to be strictly maintained. He calls her ‘Ms. Singh’ and does not hesitate to reprimand her when she makes a mistake. At the same time, he seeks out her company and leaves the viewer in no doubt of his interest in her. And when he asks her to marry him, of course there was nothing else to do but melt into a puddle and beg her to just say yes! 


They don’t make serials like these anymore. The tsunami of crap that Ekta Kapoor has unleashed on the Hindi serial viewing audience is outrageous. Kalyani has been ousted by the Tulsis and Parvatis of large joint families. And Harish Menon has been toppled by the Mr. Walias and Mr. Bajajs of recent times. There are no women IPS officers anymore. Just housewives scheming against one another. And IAS is no longer a good career choice for leading men, who prefer to go by the grand title of business tycoon. 

Perhaps it is just as well because then one would not get the chance to delight in watching these serials of yore and wallow in the nostalgia of how much happiness they gave us. 


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BBC Period Dramas: My Latest Obsession - Part II

I watched Downton Abbey on the recommendation of my best friend. She knows EXACTLY what I like and recommended this series very highly. So I bugged the spouse until he downloaded season 1 and 2 for me. I started watching it with a lot of excitement and a bit of trepidation. What if the series did not live upto my expectations?

I need not have worried. The series was stupendous! And I absolutely loved it.

A bit synopsis. Set in a fictional estate called Downton Abbey somewhere in Yorkshire, the series traces the trials and tribulations of the aristocratic Crawleys and their entourage of servants. It is set in the early part of the 20th century. In fact, the very first episode begins with the sinking of the Titanic, after which moves on to the First World War. There is of course love and intrigue very cleverly woven into the story and makes for very interesting viewing.

I found the series engaging for a variety of reasons. The first is of course the stratification in English society - the aristocrats and the commoners. The way the former treats the latter. With kindness and benevolence - but never as equals. At the same time, the series also depicts the changing social equations and building aspirations among the commoners who want a better life. Being 'servants' is starting to chafe. This is clearly seen in the episode where one of the housemaids reveals to her friend, another housemaid, that she is taking typing and short hand classes because she wants to be a secretary-something that is unheard of among servants. With the help of Lady Sybil, the youngest Crawley daughter, she manages to realise her dream.

What I found most striking in the series was the status of women in England at the time. Women in the aristocratic families of course had cushy lives filled with dinner engagements and balls. But it is as if they live in gilded cages, because attending social events is pretty much all they do. Reminiscent of Jane Austen, there is pressure to find good husbands because of the practice of entailing property. An entail was a legal device used to prevent a landed property from being broken up, and/or from descending in a female line. Lord Crawley has three daughters and no sons. So his eldest daughter, Lady Mary is engaged to be married to her cousin and heir to the estate - and she does not love him. Said heir however, is on the ill fated Titanic and dies. The new heir is now Mathew Crawley, a second cousin of some sort (and very dishy!). And everyone expects that Mary should 'do the right thing' and marry him.

Then there is how the issue of women's 'virtue' and 'chastity' is perceived. Lady Mary is enamoured by a Turkish gentleman called Pamouk. He, returning her sentiment, finds a way to enter her bedroom one night. Mary is held back by her upbringing, but wants to give in to him all the same. He uses this to his advantage, while promising not to 'violate her virginity' (you get the picture right?). Unfortunately for poor Mary, Pamouk dies while making out with her. Although the matter is hushed up, rumours do leak out and Mary's reputation is tarnished, making it difficult for her to make a good match. Not so different from Indian society don't you think? 


While the women downstairs, ie, the servants and housemaids, did not have to deal with this kind of expectation, they also had their fair share of challenges as women. Primary was their vulnerability to being preyed upon by their employers, their families and social circle. One of the housemaids has stars in her eyes about her future. She becomes pregnant through one of the males visiting Downton and is dismissed from her job. She struggles to make ends meet and is stigmatised for being stupid and a slut. When the man who fathered her child dies in the war (after refusing to acknowledge his child or even help her), his parents attempt to take her child away from her telling her that they, being affluent, can give the child a better life. To her credit, she refuses and says that as his mother, she is best qualified to give her son a good life.


Then again, the winds of change begin to blow. Lady Sybil is shown as a women's rights crusader who joins the suffrage movement. She refuses to the live the life of an aristocratic female. Instead she trains as a nurse and joins the war effort by tending to injured soldiers. She also defies her family and blurs the line between master and servant by falling in love with the chauffeur (who incidentally is an Irish revolutionary). Lady Edith (another daughter) on the other hand, learns to drive and helps the farmers on her father's property by driving a tractor.

There is much, much more that can be written about Downton Abbey.

The cast is superb. Maggie Smith as the Dowager Countess is magnificent. Her sense of timing and dialogue delivery is impeccable. The actor who plays Mathew Crawley, Dan Stevens is yummy! Mary is pretty, if a bit emaciated. There is really very little that I can fault the series about. Apparently those who hand out awards agree, because the series has swept almost all the telly awards this year.


I watched both the seasons at a go over the course of 5 days. Yes! Thats how much I liked it. Since then, I've given the series to a few friends to watch and they've loved it as well. My teenaged niece liked it too and was a regular visitor over 2-3 weekends to watch it.

I now eagerly await Season 3 which I'm told goes into production from January 2013. Hope it will live up to the expectations!!


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