My Sins AGAINST Gender Stereotypes

I was tagged by my blogger friend Maradhi Manni aka Sandhya to do this. That was about a week ago. I didn't see it until last night. So here goes.

The upbringing my sister and I received never made us realise that the world treats men and women differently or that there were different expectations from each. Perhaps not having brothers was the reason why. Or maybe it was because our father is a liberal minded man who believed that his daughters should reach for the stars. Whatever be the case, this is what I grew up to be and I' rather proud of it.

1. Self confident, aggressive, articulate are adjectives that usually describe me. They're also generally considered MALE traits. In fact I've been chided for my aggressive behaviour many times while growing up.

2. Some of my developmental milestones were delayed-I didn't get married the moment I completed my education at the age of 23. Worse, I got married in my thirties. And I'm not in a tearing hurry to pop out babies even though people say that the sound of my biological clock ticking is deafening.

3. I do not do the usual stuff that married women do. I did not change my last name. I do not wear a thaali (mangalsutra), toe rings or sindoor. I do not perform any rituals or poojas. My one concession to spirituality is a daily reading of the 'Hanuman Chalisa'

4. On social occasions, I am usually to be found in the company of men. I enjoy their company and seem to relate to them better. It irritates me to sit with the women and discuss recipes or school bus timings.

5. I can be relied upon to keep a cool head and take quick decisions during emergencies. People usually lean on me for support during crises.

6. I've lived alone in a big city and pretty much fended for myself. I rented an apartment, drove about by myself and even went for movies alone. It was weird at first. But then I began to enjoy it.

7. A few years back I went overseas for a vacation. I went alone and spent my own money. A dream come true. Expensive - but a dream nevertheless.

8. I returned to full time work recently and my father-in-law helps me in kitchen work. He cuts veggies and puts on the cooker so that all I need to do is throw things together when I finally wake up. Today he offered to take over the cooking of the entire lunch. I have gladly relinquished the responsibility.

There are two things where I do uphold the stereotype:

9. I love clothes, especially saris. Even a four door wardrobe seems insufficient! (refer post dated 7th July).

10. I am afraid of the dark and need to sleep with a night light on. Maybe the residue of a childhood nightmare.

So those are my sins. God forgive me for them! I don't know how to go about this tagging business. If you're reading this, and want to try it, by all means go ahead. It is open to persons of both genders.

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8 Responses to My Sins AGAINST Gender Stereotypes

  1. Sandhya says:

    Deepa, I loved reading about you and you are 100% a sinner!

    How do you face the RELATIVES without wearing the traditional things? You have guts, really. Many of my cousins remove their mangalsutra chain at night and wear it back after taking bath (my Kannada cousins!). No one bothers. Here, Tamilian relatives, no one seems to dare doing these things!

    My sister got married at 29, because of her Jyeshta nakshatra and had a baby next year and that daughter is married now. Many women have stopped changing their name nowadays. My mother never changed!

    Your father in law is one of a kind. My husband also cooks and likes doing it. It is easy for me when I go out of station sometimes.

    I always wonder how it will be to live alone and just take care of myself! It must be interesting.

    It was nice and interesting to read the last point, which was entirely in contrast to your nature, Deepa!

    I think I will join the chorus - life without children will be boring in old age. They need not take care of us, just we can chat about them with our will be pleasant memories.

  2. Deepa says:

    Thanks Sandhya! Facing relatives is usually not a problem. I wear my thali mostly as an adornment or if some very nosy old relative is around-usually during ceremonial occasions. Immediate family is not bothered about these things.

  3. RGB says:

    We seem to have a lot of things in common, except that I am mother of two lovely daughters, which my friends (and I sometimes) find it hard to believe:p

    And good to know that your F-I-L pitches in. My hubby loves eating and cooking and I hate both (I love eating junk food though!).

  4. Anonymous says:

    Good list there, Deepa.

    First time here although I must say I have been following your blog for sometime now :)

  5. Deepa says:

    Thanks Snippetsnscribbles. Welcome to my blog. Hope to see you here more often. Did go over to your blog to read the tag.Nicely done!

  6. Purba says:

    Show me a woman who has typical feminine traits. And am not even sure what typical is any more.

    All I can say is or rather croon "Man, I feel like a woman"!

    Absolutely loved your template btw :))

  7. Good list there, Deepa.

    First time here although I must say I have been following your blog for sometime now :)