Ghosts of Valentines Past



With Valentine's Day just around the corner, I've been reminiscing about love and relationships. Not to say that I've had much of a chequered past. I was your basic wall flower with friends who were streets ahead of me in the 'attracting-the-opposite-sex' department. I did give away my heart on a modest scale though.


The very first time it happened,I must have been around 10 years old, when I first set eyes on Rahul Gandhi. It was at Indira Gandhi's funeral - no I wasn't present in person, I saw it on TV and promptly lost my heart! He was C-U-T-E! And having grown to manhood now, he has totally fulfilled the promise of beauty seen in childhood. I was pretty sure I would grow up and marry him one day. Fate would surely find a way to throw us in each other's paths. But then I got busy with school, studies, friends and extra curricular activities and poor Rahul was put on the back burner.

Years later, I was all ready to fall in love again. Considering Fate had taken Rahul Gandhi far out of my reach by then, I had no choice but to look closer to home. So I handed over my eager heart to the next handsome face. And what a handsome face it was! Only problem was the handsome face didn't really notice me. So I proceeded to do some really idiotic stuff - like writing a love letter - which I regretted writing immediately after I posted it (or did I send it by courier? I forget). I was relieved when there was total silence at the receiving end. But my friends would have none of this 'Silence' nonsense.

'You've got to ask him what his answer is!' Err....wasn't the silence speaking loud enough?

'No. No. Maybe he's feeling shy. Or waiting for you to make the move' I did make a move. I wrote a letter didn't I?!!

Dragging me kicking to the phone booth (those days mobiles were not so common) they forced me to make that call. And naturally, I got the expected answer - Sorry!

'Thank God!' I said to myself, but made a big production out of having having my heart broken.

'I shall never love again'!! Even my friends did not believe that one.

I never had the courage to speak of these things earlier. I guess it made me feel vulnerable. But I can do so now, and smile about it and share it with the world at large. And, as I have been assured by my well meaning friends, my tentative forays into the world of love, were tepid at best. Considering the heartbreak I have seen my friends go through, I must thank God for unanswered prayers. Because that has guided me to my true north!

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14 Responses to Ghosts of Valentines Past

  1. Rachit says:

    Love, lust and Dhoka... A great blog you have.. readers delight

  2. Hahaha, a nice read.Why is it people derive vicarious pleasure reading the'confessions' of others?

    The first case is clearly a cruch or puppy love of a young girl to a celebrity.It is like falling in love with teachers or actors or older people for whom one has admiration.Everyone passes through this may be several times but is rarely spoken out.It is transient n nature and invariably fades away.

    The second also can be infatuation when we are not mature enough and still in school or college.Most often such things decided purely on the basis of heart without head coming into picture if they materialise at all fail later.

    An enjoable and apt post for the month when love is in the air.

  3. Deepa says:

    Thanks Rachit & Partha. Keep visiting and commenting!

  4. ramanan says:

    Nice reading...got to know some thoughts that had not surfaced in the last two years...keep writing (and confessing) :)

    True North ;)

  5. Rachna says:

    haha Nice post. You stopped at Rahul Gandhi -- I must have continued with cricketers, filmstars, tennis stars, movie stars, all momentary and harmless crushes :). I haven't had terrible experiences myself. Though, I did the sorry routine to 3 guys myself :). But, hats off to people who have the guts to walk up and say what's there in their hearts and be willing to face the rejection.

  6. Deepa says:

    Rachna: If I included the film stars and other celebrities, this post would be never ending!! May I should have included Arvind Swamy. I walked around in a rose tinted haze for days after I watched Roja!!

  7. Vaish says:

    Nice reading!
    Rahul - who wouldn't fall for him on the first sight! The cupid did not leave me! I was equally fascinated about him at young age :)

  8. rads says:

    LOL...sorry to hear tht the guy was sorry :D ... n yes it was very courageous of you to blog about it...gr8 post Deepa...love the blog, will be following it...

  9. Deepa says:

    Thanks Vaish.

    Thanks rad! I didn't want to be a prisoner of my own mind. So...!

  10. Hey Deepa, today someone told me that one needs to be good looking to be eligible to fall in love- what crap! But yeah we have all gone through our various stages of falling in love. I still remember how I used to swoon over Kumar Gaurav...

  11. radha says:

    Lovely post. I guess all have some stories like this... that is if they wish to reveal!

  12. Hahahaha. I guess we all have walked down that path. You know... been there, done that.

  13. Congrats on the spicy pick :)

  14. Congrats on the spicy pick :)