Three Cheers for Indlish!

Part of my job requires that I review and edit reports. A task which, over the past few years, has become a source of mirth and entertainment. Just like teachers relish howlers their students give them in exams. I delight in the faux pas that I have come across during my 11 year professional life. If you view them from a creative and humourous point of view, they have certainly made the tedious task of reviewing reports bearable.

Indian languages are phonetic in nature. What you hear is what you write. Enunciation has unique regional flavours, marked by mother tongue. So the East Indian would have trouble saying 'vacation' simply because the syllable 'va' is absent in their lexicon. The best you would get (with due apologies) is a 'Bhay-kay-shun'.

So here is a tongue-in-cheek collection of words, terms, concepts recounted with the deepest affection, for those that have written (created?) them, for the purpose of your enjoyment.

Here's something from the report of a drought project. Ever heard of 'vermin compost'? Normally known as 'vermi-compost' and refering to the conversion of organic waste into fertile soil by the noble gesture of earthworms. Perhaps here it has a more sinister meaning - perhaps destructive, annoying rats and cockroaches. Or maybe the product of a mind that moves faster than the hand over the keyboard.

There is a clarion call for Bread Improvement I understand. The stuff they sell in supermarkets these days is atrocious. Daylight robbery! Before you get on the soapbox, the nearest Gujarati will hasten to clarify that this could perhaps be a reference to the need for Breed Improvement - you know of livestock?

Then of course, there are the assorted tap recorders, leddies, and redeemed spellings ( I will not even attempt to explain this one).

But the crowning glory is rather adult in nature. I've heard of Acid rain, Purple Rain but Erotic Rain? For the ignorant, it refers to pattern of rainfall in semi arid areas. Leave your guess in a comment box.

With love to those that propogate Indlish!

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12 Responses to Three Cheers for Indlish!

  1. Rekha says:

    nice one! one reviewerish question though - which do you prefer - indish or indlish?

    speaking of which - have you seen these signs?

    "child bear sold here"

    "fruits lard"

  2. mccbala says:

    Since this post speaks about the indish/indlish/whtever, you'll have a better idea about it if you check this image

  3. Sudeshna says:

    HAHAHA!!!...bhery bhery good...

  4. Anonymous says:

    nice one!! We were discussing the marage hole (marriage hall, snakes(snacks)and the erotic rain bit just 2 days back with some guju bhais. Something I heard at the last field visit was "cooker" which you would refer as cook. As long as we all understand.... indlish or hinglish - k

  5. Deepa says:

    what about the 'good mammaries' that people have?!

  6. Sudeshna says:

    mamaries about gifts raped carefully?

  7. Ruta says:

    And dont forget the "Kalyan Daisies" (for diocese) and then the "Lets make things BATTER" and a training on "DO NO HARD" (for "DO no HArm") the way how will our VANSH be carried on if people Do NO HARD!!

    and then there was a sign board of "GLASS BENGALS SOLD HERE"..... DR xxxxx - SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND CHILDREN!!!

  8. Anonymous says:

    Erratic :-) :-)I have come across all of them..and i will dif up some more from memory..luckily i don't have to proof read reports now anu

  9. Anonymous says:

    Every organisation has its own set of short forms that are common all across the country and when these short forms are spoken with the local pronounciation the results are truely hillarious for some of the times. An example is a short form of POP that is used in our org and the people of MP and chattisgarh pronounce the word as POPE. In one of the workshops thay called on a religious leader of the christian catholic community to inaugrate a workshop on POP and in the opening sppech it was referred that the meting is being called bcoz POP"E" is moving out. The religious leader was shocked to hear how is this possible and how he did not have any clue about any such information about POPE. He was also surprised to see the confidence of the speaker to announce at the public platform of such a move of POPE. He finally enquired from the person sitting next to him who was from the same organisation and finally the confusion got clarified.

  10. mccbala says:

    Since this post speaks about the indish/indlish/whtever, you'll have a better idea about it if you check this image