Part of my job requires that I review and edit reports. A task which, over the past few years, has become a source of mirth and entertainment. Just like teachers relish howlers their students give them in exams. I delight in the faux pas that I have come across during my 11 year professional life. If you view them from a creative and humourous point of view, they have certainly made the tedious task of reviewing reports bearable.
Indian languages are phonetic in nature. What you hear is what you write. Enunciation has unique regional flavours, marked by mother tongue. So the East Indian would have trouble saying 'vacation' simply because the syllable 'va' is absent in their lexicon. The best you would get (with due apologies) is a 'Bhay-kay-shun'.
So here is a tongue-in-cheek collection of words, terms, concepts recounted with the deepest affection, for those that have written (created?) them, for the purpose of your enjoyment.
Here's something from the report of a drought project. Ever heard of 'vermin compost'? Normally known as 'vermi-compost' and refering to the conversion of organic waste into fertile soil by the noble gesture of earthworms. Perhaps here it has a more sinister meaning - perhaps destructive, annoying rats and cockroaches. Or maybe the product of a mind that moves faster than the hand over the keyboard.
There is a clarion call for Bread Improvement I understand. The stuff they sell in supermarkets these days is atrocious. Daylight robbery! Before you get on the soapbox, the nearest Gujarati will hasten to clarify that this could perhaps be a reference to the need for Breed Improvement - you know of livestock?
Then of course, there are the assorted tap recorders, leddies, and redeemed spellings ( I will not even attempt to explain this one).
But the crowning glory is rather adult in nature. I've heard of Acid rain, Purple Rain but Erotic Rain? For the ignorant, it refers to pattern of rainfall in semi arid areas. Leave your guess in a comment box.
With love to those that propogate Indlish!