The Nonpareil

Posted on Thursday, January 26, 2012 by Deepa

Yesterday, chatting with a friend brought to mind the weird behaviour of one of our classmates. To protect identities, I will call her The Nonpareil.I remember meeting her for the first time on campus.

After depositing my stuff in the room assigned to me at the hostel, I headed for the dining hall to have tea. Enroute, I bumped into this girl. She was in the room next door. Tall, slim and decent looking, she was also from my home town. I was happy to have found some common ground.

As we sat down with our cups of chai, we began exchanging information about ourselves, our families etc when suddenly, out of the blue, she shared some private information.

"You know, I've just broken up with my boyfriend."

"Oh?," thought I "do I really need to know this?" I made sympathetic noises and tried to change the topic. But, there was more.

"He is half English you know. We were high school sweethearts. But he had to relocate to London. So there was really no future for us."


As the semester advanced, Nonpareil's behaviour made me more and more convinced that she was an oddball. She had long hair which she would insist on leaving loose, earning her the sobriquet 'Jhadoo' (broomstick) in the men's hostel. She ALWAYS wore make up. Even at six in the morning, if we went out for a morning walk, she would be all dressed up with eyes lined, lipstick on and contacts in place. When asked why, she would say 'you never know when you could meet Mr. Right'. At times if you walked into her room, she would be sitting, listening to some soppy Alisha Chinai number, with tears streaming down her face, presumably mourning the loss of her relationship with Mr. Half English.

Come Valentine's day, those of us not in relationships trooped off for an evening of fun in town. As we returned to hostel tired and happy, we came upon Nonpareil walking up the hostel path with a giant bouquet of red roses clasped to her person. She was blushing and looking very coy.

Being the noisy and nosy kind, we demanded to know the secret of the red roses. To which she replied shyly that Mr. Half English was back in her life. He had come to town to make arrangements for his sister's wedding and had asked her out for coffee. The long and short of it was that they were back together.

Thank God! Now perhaps we could get back to a life without all the drama.

My friend, however, was not convinced.

"Its all very convenient"

"Oh you're just a doubting so-and-so. What does it matter? Life without all the 'rona-dhona'
is great!"

And so it was. Although the re-entry of Mr. Half English did not induce her to tie her hair, the days of crying to Indipop music seemed to be over. Nonpareil walked around with a generally happy demeanour and reduced the theatrics.

During semester break, I called her - since she lived in the same town as me. Not because I was eager to spend time with her but because I was eager to know how the Nonpareil - Mr. Half English saga had progressed. Before leaving for home she had told us that she would be breaking the news to her parents (as would he) and they would probably set a date for engagement / marriage etc.

After the usual 'Hi, how's life' was over, I asked her about it and was astounded by her reply.

"Oh. Something terrible has happened Deepa" she said. "Mr. Half English died."

WHAAAAT???!!!!

"Yes. He was in a road accident in London." she said calmly.

Really? How convenient. I did not believe a word of it. For a girl who wept buckets at sentimental songs and walked around like a waif for a guy who was apparently her soulmate, to be this calm and yes...disinterested...made me smell a rat.

I immediately called up another friend and relayed the news to her.

"I told you!" she crowed. "It was all a story she was feeding us. I knew Mr. Half English never existed. Or if he did it was in her head. Now perhaps he's become redundant and so she's bumped him off".

"How can you be so sure?" I asked.

"Arrey she used to fake phone calls. Do you remember once in the dining hall she got a phone call which she said was from Mr. Half English? Well I was the one that received the call first and it was from her parents."

"Why would somone go to such lengths to prove that they had a boyfriend?" I wondered.

There was only one answer. She was a total whacko! Or perhaps a seriously troubled girl who needed help.

Years have passed since then. Nonpareil I heard had got married, divorced and remarried. This time to Mr. Full English - or rather Mr. Full White Male and lives overseas. Maybe she got her fairy tale with Mr. Right after all!!


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Symbol Of A Citizens' Movement: Need For Some Introspection

Posted on Saturday, December 10, 2011 by Deepa

An estimated 60% of  9.8 million Jews in Europe perished in the Holocaust. The greatest losses were seen in:


Germany, in the eye of the storm, saw close to 141,500 Jewish deaths. More than one million Jewish children were killed in the Holocaust, as were approximately two million Jewish women and three million Jewish men

The Holocaust, was the genocide of approximately six million European Jews and millions of others during World War II, a programme of systematic state-sponsored murder by Nazi Germany, led by Adolf Hitler, throughout Nazi-occupied territory. 

So why am I writing about the Holocaust today? 

I was a member of  the 'India Against Corruption' page on Facebook. I supported the cause for which the movement stands, although I did not necessarily support or approve of their methods or actions in recent times. I was present at Jantar Mantar in April 2011, when Anna Hazare went on his first fast unto death. I was moved and energised by the outpouring of public support which I witnessed. I even blogged about it here.  I admired their  social media strategy. I had never seen anything like this in my decade's worth of experience in the Indian social sector. I felt a sense of  hope. 

However, over the past few months, my interest in the movement and Team Anna waned - in no small measure due to their shenanigans and faux pas in the media. A feeling of disillusionment set in which finally turned to anger and disgust last week. 

India Against Corruption has posted a video, a parody showing Adolf Hitler as a supporter of the anti corruption movement in India. The English sub titles depict how Hitler is determined to support 'that Gandhian Anna' and how he would leave no stone unturned to ensure that the Jan Lokpal Bill is passed by the Indian Parliament. There are of course the usual digs about Sonia Gandhi and others. And finally some lip service to 'non violent methods' (although Anna Hazare's comment following the Sharad Pawar slapping episode  may lay that claim to rest). 

Are the IAC people out of their minds to put up Hitler - the man at the helm of one of the worst genocides known in history - as a poster boy for a citizens movement? How dare they attempt to sully the spirit of Indian  democracy (dysfunctional as it is) with references to that mass murdering lunatic?! 

What was more frightening was that some 20 people had 'liked' the video and said 'its a wonderful parody'. Did they not see how totally inappropriate the video was? But then again, considering that Hitler's popularity is being  revived in our country thanks to devious propaganda by some right wing parties, I guess I should not have been so surprised. People are actually saying that Hitler was a 'good leader' and India needs a dictator. I  guess it is easy to say that when you are wrapped in a cocoon of infallibility. 

Sorry! I think I'll pass. 
Apart from me, only two others objected to the use of Hitler as a spokesperson, however in jest, in a democratic movement. I was so incensed that I put in a scathing comment. Despite the objections, the offensive video was reposted the following day by IAC!! 

The whole funda behind endorsements is that your brand value impacts the product you're trying to sell. And so it is with social causes. The person/s and symbols used to promote a cause will impact public perception and the effect you're trying to create. Using Hitler to promote the cause of anti corruption is like using apples to sell oranges. More than that, it actually demeans your cause and insults the memory of millions of people who lost their lives at the hands of a madman. 

Today is Human Rights day. A day when we remember with solemnity those who had injustice done to them and those who fight to uphold what is just and right. I thought it is appropriate to blog about it today. Fighting to weed out corruption from your country is right. But if IAC continues in this self destructive path, it won't be long before it loses the goodwill and support it enjoys from the public. It has certainly lost mine. 

PS: I could have posted that video. But I really do not want to increase hits to that site. 

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Old Wine Really Fine?

Posted on Sunday, November 27, 2011 by Deepa

House arrest on account of heavy rains has kept me indoors this weekend. To prevent cabin fever from taking over, I've been listening to Hindi film songs. When I played 'Jiya Jale Jaan Jale' from the 1998 film Dil Se, the husband remarked 'vandutaaya paati' (here comes the grandmother) referring to Lata Mangeshkar's aging voice in the song.

My husband and I do not like the same type of music. But on this count, I must say that I agree with him. With due respect to Rahman and Lata Mangeshkar, I feel she was not the right choice for this song.

The song is about a young, innocent bride looking forward to her wedding night. Gulzar's sensuous and smouldering lyrics sends shivers down your spine. Tells you so much without actually saying it. The picturisation was just right. A young fresh faced Preity Zinta, a bare bodied SRK, the lush greenery and the flowing water. The whole effect primordial and stripped down to the bare basics - Superb! And then that granny voice....Just listen to it:


Its not that I do not like Lata Mangeshkar's singing.Far from it. I think she has a golden voice and has given us some really memorable music. Take the song 'Jaise Radha Ne Maala Japi' from the film Tere Mere Sapne. Also about a young bride - although I guess its more about the glow from the wedding night! The tenderness and love that you get from this song is simply not there in Jiya Jale. And its not that the music is inferior. Music is top class in both songs.


Now here is a song from the music director everyone loves to hate - Anu Malik. Its from the film Asoka (you didn't know he was the music director for this film now did you?!).



The song 'Raat Ka Nasha Abhi' is laced with sensuality. (yes! Anu Malik does make good music once in a while) Also makes euphemistic references to sex. Again lyrics are by the inimitable Gulzar. The choice of singer, Chitra, in my opinion, lifts the song to another level. Call me a heretic, but for a song about love making, a 40 something singer is a better choice than a (then) 70 year old legend. The 'inspired' Anu Malik seems to know that. How come Rahman didn't?

And yet Jiya Jale was a super hit song - as it deserves to be. I just have the sense that, if say, Shreya Ghoshal had sung it, it might have moved from being a beautiful song to a mind blowing one.

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Micky Mouse In My House

Posted on Sunday, November 13, 2011 by Deepa

Over the Diwali break, I watched the film 'Stuart Little' on telly. A cute movie about a mouse who is adopted by a human family with a message that love transcends all - especially species! I however did not appreciate the film or its message. Reason? Just a week before Diwali, I chanced upon a similar rodent in the service area of my home. And let me tell you, these mice are far from being the friendly, eager-to-please critters that Stuart is.


Naturally I lost all sleep after I saw the mouse run and take cover behind my washing machine. All windows in the house were immediately shut. All the rooms were blockaded and the service area contained. Or so we thought. The next morning my husband woke me up with - 'Its there. Behind the microwave'.

'Oh no! What shall we do?!'. It was as if we were being held at gun point by robbers.

'Dont worry' soothed my husband. 'When the maid comes, I will ask her to drive it away'.

So much for my knight in shining armour I thought wryly.

Later that day, my husband called me at work and announced triumphantly on the phone 'The house is mouse free'

'Yay! How did you manage to do that?'

'Well, I asked the maid to move the crockery shelf. And he just leaped out from behind it and started running....'

'Did you kill it?!'

'No! He was too fast' (A likely story. My husband couldn't hurt a fly. Even if the fly was hurting him)

The long and short of it was that the rodent was driven out of the house with a stick and jhadoo. My husband breathed a sigh of relief and left on tour.

The next morning, I knew the mouse was back. There were droppings on the floor, it had knocked over a little cup in which I keep pins and rubber bands. Damn!

Another night went by with me barricaded inside my bedroom. But I had forgotten to shut the dining room window which was where the mouse had escaped from. And now seemed to be using it for entering the house. This time it even bit my kitchen mat to tatters. Enough was enough.

I called my husband and said 'Do something or I'm out of here! And dont tell me to set traps or use rat poison. I don't even want to see that ugly, dirty thing'

'Ok! Cool it. I will contact the pest control guy'.

So that evening the pest control guy, Sathya, arrived. He inspected the rooms and pointed out to me which ones the mouse had been in. Luckily it was only roaming around the dining room near the microwave. It had first gained entry by nibbling through the netlon we have put in the service area. And after it made its escape from the extermination drive initiated by husband dear, it found a new way in.

Sathya showed me a black line on the wall, right above the floor. 'That line shows the movements of the mouse. Since it is dirty, it leaves dirt marks and thats how we can find it' he said.

Really?! I soaked up all this information.How was he going to catch it? A trap? Poison (shudder! I cannot dispose mouse carcasses)

'No madam. Now a days there are new things called 'gum traps'. It is safer than regular traps which can injure the rat and spill its blood and make the area unsanitary. Poison could cause it to die and rot and leave a bad smell. Again there is risk of infection. The gum traps are the safest way to catch them'

The exact same gum trap we used
So what is a gum trap. It is essentially a note book (mean the paper note book not the computer) shaped article. When you open it (like a notebook), it reveals strong gum inside. It is placed at places frequented by the rat. When the rat moves over it, it gets stuck and remains stuck till you come find it. No blood and no rotting.You just fold the mouse in the trap and dispose it.Genius!

The traps were placed and I was advised to leave the window open.

Come morning, there was no sign of the intruder. Drat! Still, it was early days yet. Sathya said the traps could be placed and they were good for at least a year.

Luckily I did not have to wait a year. When I got home from work that evening, there it was! All stuck on the gum trap, just like Sathya had promised. How to dispose it? I was going nowhere near it. The apartment security guard obliged and my home was soon REALLY mouse free.

My joy knew no bounds. I had hated living all boxed up with windows and doors closed all the time. I called just about everybody I knew with the glad tidings.

All's well that end's well I thought. I became a staunch supporter of the gum trap. To me it was the next best thing after penicillin had been discovered.

Until last week. I opened the service area door and a black shadow darted past. 'EEEEEEkkkk' I screamed.

'What happend?' shouted my husband from the other room, ' Lizard?' (Yeah. I'm petrified of lizards. But after this mouse business, I think I'm learning to like the reptiles. They eat cockroaches and do not make a nuisance)

'Guess who is back?!'

'WHAT?!' asked my husband rushing to the service area. But the mouse was gone.

We've blocked the opening in the bitten netlon and put another gum trap in place. Doors and windows are closed in the evening. The guy has not re-appeared since that one time. But everytime I hear some sound, I start, thinking its the mouse who's back. Brings to mind that song 'Zara si aahat hoti hai, tho dil sochta hai. Kahin yeh WOH tho nahi!!'


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No! Men Will NOT Be Men.

Posted on Tuesday, November 1, 2011 by Deepa

I'm back to my favourite rant on gender stereotyping in the media. The Seagram ads are the latest on my hit list. Take a look at this one:


Seriously! A husband cannot remember his wife's name? And that can be excused as 'Men will be Men?"!! Even our male centric mythological texts did not let off Dushyant so lightly when he forgot his wife Shakuntala.

Here's another:



Man forgets his wedding anniversary and decides to buy a diamond ring as a peace offering. Bigger the offense, larger the size of the diamond.  After all, who needs to remember trivial stuff in life like a wife and marriage! Grrrrr. And when they do, they fall back on the old stereotype of diamonds being a girl's best friend. Shut the woman up with a shiny rock.

And yet another:



Man looking devastated. Leads you to wonder if someone has died. But no! Its worse. His wife's trip out of town has been cancelled! Men will be men!

Apart from portraying woman as:
1. Not worthy of being remembered 
2. Greedy and hankering after jewellery
3. So unbearable that husbands eagerly await their departure from the home - I think these commercials also portray men in poor light. As people who do not care for their wives enough to remember their names. As people who would bribe their way into their wives' good graces rather than be contrite and admit to making a mistake and as people who seem to find their wives' presence insufferable. At least the men in my life do not live up to THIS stereotype. 

My father is a wonderful man and a devoted husband. Going against the tradition of celebrating 'shashtiyaptapurti', he preferred to celebrate his golden jubilee wedding anniversary instead. Read more about it here: Celebrating Milestones. 

Like my father, my husband is also a caring human being. And what I love most about him is the amount of attention he gives me! He has his faults of course. But I have never wanted for attention from him. He misses me when I'm away and certainly knows how to make anniversaries special :) 

The reactions to these commercials have generally been good with people liking the humour, the acting and the music. One reaction says that since advertising for alcohol and tobacco are banned, the companies have to turn to these kind of 'humourous' methods. But why does 'humour' always make women the butt of the joke and present them in unfavourable light? 

No doubt, the commercials are entertaining and the actors very talented. Overall stylishly created commercials by Ogilvy. But I think they've gone over the top with the stereotyping. I know this refrain is so oft repeated that it is passe - but I think it bears repeating. Media needs to be more responsible in the way it portrays gender relations. And, we, as a society, need to be more alert to the sub text in these seemingly 'well crafted' and 'entertaining' commercials. 

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This Used To Be My Playground (with apologies to Madonna)

Posted on Monday, October 24, 2011 by Deepa

I'm spending Diwali in the city that symbolises 'home' to me - Hyderabad. I had my schooling here and the beginning years of my professional life. In my experience, its a great place to be. The city is bursting at its seams now, has perennial water shortage and terrible, terrible traffic. And yet, the madness seems to reach out to embrace me, making me feel more included and wanted than the place which I have made my home these days.

Sarojini Devi Road, (known as 'Oxford Street' in British Times) in Secunderabad has always been busy. Even way back in 1985, when my family first moved here, it was busy little road. On one end of this road was Sangeet, one of the few movie theatres that screened English movies and at the other end was the famed Paradise restaurant, arguably the best biryani place in the 'twin cities'.

Twenty six years down the road (pardon the pun!), so much has changed while some things have remained just the same.

Sangeet before demolition. Source: The Hindu
Sangeet theatre is a thing of the past. Demolished to make way for a multiplex I'm told. It was a sad day when I heard the news. So many wonderful movies and memories are associated with Sangeet. Watching 'Rear Window', 'Vertigo', 'The Man Who Knew Too Much' with my dad, a devoted fan of Hitchcock. Being taken from school - located just a stone's throw away - to see 'Ten Commandments'. The timings at Sangeet were unique. Three main shows at 4pm, 6pm and 9pm. And two other shows - a morning show at 9.45 am and a matinee at 1.45pm. Balcony tickets were Rs. 6 and stall tickets were Rs. 5. And I remember how we mourned when the fare was raised by 50p.

Old photo of my school. Source: The Hindu
The next wonderful building on that road is of course my alma mater, St. Ann's. I have spent some of the best years of my life here. Technically, the school spans the space between Sarojini Devi Road and Sardar Patel Road. And I would prefer to take Sardar Patel Road as it was less crowded. I walked to school for the most part and later in high school, I cycled over. The school has also not been spared in the passage of time. In my day, one had a clear view of the two main school blocks from the road itself. During sports day, we used to have passers by and fellas climb and perch on the compound wall to witness the events. Now a new building has come up inside, presumably to accommodate more students, which totally blocks the view.

Ajanta theatre has been demolished. I remember a rumour that a fan fell on the head of some hapless viewer in Ajanta. And I used to tell the ticket seller not to give me seats directly under the fan! Some of the biggest hits of my time played at Ajanta. Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikandar, Dil Hai Ki Manta Nahi.... Now it is just an empty spot overgrown with weeds, awaiting a new lease of life.

The red brick Methodist church at the turning near St. Patrick's School, originally built in 1882, has been demolished. A large modern building built in its place invites the devout for worship these days and goes by the name of New Millenium Methodist Church. Possibly the new building came up in the year 2001. I've looked for a picture of the old church on the net but regretfully could not find it. Whatever reason the church authorities had for demolishing the red brick church, I miss it and the new glass, steel and concrete structure that has taken its place just does not evoke the same sense of history.

Amidst all these changes, few things remain re-assuringly unchanged. Like the fruit stall opposite St. Mary's Church, where the vendor always greets you with a warm 'salaamalaikum'. Or S. Mohammad Ali and Sons who rents out tents, utensils and furniture. The board proclaiming their name, notes the date of establishment as 1899. During my time, the owner's daughter studied in my school. So we got props for our drama competitions free!

Basera Hotel
Basera Hotel is still going strong. It has a fancy new restaurant called 'Pickles'. Back then, it had two restaurants called 'Daawat' and 'Mehfil'. One was more 'junta' and the other more sophisticated. Apparently, Talat Aziz used to sing at Mehfil. I still remember one hilarious incident when my family and I had gone for lunch to Basera. My poor dad, unable to decipher the androgynous figure drawn outside the toilet door, walked into the ladies toilet, even as waiters rushed to stop him. During our next visit, we saw that the androgynous figure sported a necklace and teased dad that they had done it because of him.

A view of Oxford Street (S.D.Road) in 1890
Source: Hyderabad Once Upon A Time 
In August this year, as part of Madras Week, there was a heritage walk on Mount Road titled 'The Mount Road Magnates'. Sarojini Devi Road in Secunderabad is as rich in history and buildings like those I've described above.  Others like the Deccan Chronicle Office, St. Mary's Church, are all historical buildings in their own right. I wonder if there is any group in the twin cities that looks at preserving and promoting its  culture and history?

These are just some wandering thoughts that came to mind as I walked down Sarojini Devi Road today and revisited my childhood. A sense of gratitude to have wonderful memories to share and a sense of loss at how my green valley has changed. 

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What's In A Name?

Posted on Monday, August 22, 2011 by Deepa

While on the subject of animals, ever paid attention to the sort of names we give our pets? My friend once told me that naming must be done very carefully since the namee takes on the qualities of the name. Of course, she was speaking about humans. But I suppose the logic can apply to pets also. Looking around my immediate circle, I came across some very interesting names. I'll start with my own pet.

We had a dog. Or rather, he had us. Arrived one day as a pup from the litter of the colony mongrel and decided to stay. He was very cute - copper colour with intelligent eyes. We didn't want any 'phoren' name and nixed suggestions of Jimmy and Tommy. After trying on some names for size, like Mr. India, we settled on Sher Khan. But our fellow did not really live up to such a grand name. He was content to forage in the neighbourhood dumpster and ignore strangers when they walked into our home uninvited. In course of time, the name got shortened to Sheru.He was much more a Sheru than a Sher Khan. For eg. a Sher Khan would have simply roared at his owners and made them open the gate. Sheru on the other hand, would dig furiously in the garden, perhaps attempting to tunnel his way under the compound wall to freedom.

My husband is an animal lover and had a dog and a cat. He also had some visiting friends in the form of a garden lizard and a cow.

The dog, Scamp, was a cross between a Labrador and a Daschund (how on earth did tha happen?!) He was named in honour of the Disney character Scamp, the scion of a pedigreed mother and a mongrel father. I have never met Scamp coz he scampered off to the happy hunting grounds before I entered R's life. But seems he was not such a good tempered fellow. Barked a lot and bestowed his good graces only on my father-in-law. Did the name Scamp have anything to do with this?

The cat was named Mahabali. A unique cat name, made even more unique by the fact that Mahabali was a girl. My niece giggles when she hears this name. "how can you call a cat that? Cats are not known for Strength!'. A good point. But perhaps cats have more than physical strength. And don't forget their nine lives. That would make their cumulative strength impressive.

The garden lizard was called 'Sori' (meaning Itch in Tamil) so called on account of its scales. Not very clear to me, but R says when you have some skin problem, you get itchy and the skin flakes off. Sori would come very day to a specific spot on the wall to sun itself. A creature of habit this one.

And of course, Daisy The Cow. A comely bovine that would amble over everyday for a snack. I howled with laughter when I heard the name. Imagine a cow named Daisy in Mylapore, the Brahminical stronghold of Chennai city?!! Rather ironical. In days of yore, people 'lost caste' if they went overseas and had to be purified by drinking (or was it bathing in) 'go moothra' or cow urine. The same purifying cow now bears an English name!! Not to forget that the same Mylapore Brahmins mostly straddle two worlds these days - one leg planted firmly on the hallowed grounds of Mylapore/Mandavali and the other arching over to Silicon Valley. All the 'go moothras' of Chennai cannot purify them now!!

So what's the story behind the name your pet carries?

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